The Unwanted Visitor

Today Mrs Lunn's Writing Opt-in was The Unwanted Visitor. We had to brainstorm our ideas of who might drop in unexpectedly into our family barbeque.

Look who dropped by Mrs Lunn's family dinner!!!

Mrs Lunn showed us the writing she did on the topic. We had to tell her what we liked (gold) and what we thought she could improve on (green). Mrs Lunn used the adjective massive twice, so we changed one to ear-piercing. We think this made a big improvement to her writing.

Then it was our turn...